The Dangers of Touch: A Short Story Read online

  The Dangers of Touch:

  A Short Story

  by Nina Kiriki Hoffman

  The Dangers of Touch:

  A Short Story

  by Nina Kiriki Hoffman

  Kiriki Press, P.O. Box 10858, Eugene, Oregon 97440 U.S.A.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

  This is a work of fiction. The characters have been created for the sake of this story and are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright 1991-2013 by Nina Kiriki Hoffman

  "The Dangers of Touch" first appeared in Amaranth, 1991, with the title "Finding the Way Home." This version somewhat revised.

  Cover illustration © 2014 N.K. Hoffman

  eBook Design, Kiriki Press

  This eBook edition was produced by Kiriki Press

  Originally Printed in the United States of America

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Table of Contents

  Beginning

  About the Author

  Connect with the Author

  Other Nina Kiriki Hoffman Titles

  The Dangers of Touch

  Nina Kiriki Hoffman

  The planet swam into view. Green showed beneath the cloud swirls, and deep ocean blue, and the pale parching of deserts, with rivers like veins winding through, sending out capillaries.

  Skip-tech Skye Belford stared at the wallscreen and thought about her hometown, Ticoria, the spaceport/seaport in the north, where she and everybody else would be taking shore leave. It was spring there now; the casta trees would have leafed, their branches dangling cascades of little green diamonds to the ground. Summers, she had hidden in the circled shade of casta trees, until her mother told her the trees were connected to the Castanya, the Starsedge natives. Nobody wanted to attract the attention of the Castanya, so Skye left the trees alone, and endured the summer sun after that, or hid in the house, where the air treatment leached out all the scents of the planet. In the evenings, when it wasn't so hot and the gembugs came out, Skye had chased the other children down the dusty streets, shouting, in wild games of Tig. That stopped, too, when Megan, the eldest, ran into a Castanya standing at the end of the twilight street. One touch, and she was lost. He took her hand and led her away into the woods, and nobody ever saw her again.

  The Castanya never touched children, only those old enough to be parents.

  I could have played in the casta trees a few more summers, Skye thought, as the planet grew bigger in the wallscreen. Those last years before I failed the psi test. I could have believed I belonged a little while longer.

  A wave of hate and anger rose in her, and she turned away.

  "Are you all right?" asked Kit, who'd been watching planet rise on the screen in the Baker deck mess with her. They sat across the table from each other, on mid-shift short break. Kit had switched the view from the one everybody had been watching for the past week, a parallel-time view of spring arriving in the purple mountains of Karli, to a real-time view of Starsedge planet rise. Kit was tall and broad and blond, and had one of those pleasant faces you'd dismiss as dumb if you didn't know him.

  "I hate that place."

  "It's pretty," he said.

  She felt like punching him in the stomach. He could have passed any psi test on the planet, and he wasn't even being empathetic.

  He covered his stomach with his hands. "I mean, I bet there are great plants down there."

  "Yes," she said. Kit worked in hydroponics. He was a plant ambassador. She had forgotten, during the long skip from Hazelett, that his interests were so earthy. She reached for one of his hands, brought the palm into contact with her forehead, and concentrated on the casta trees, with their silver braided trunks, their whip-like branches that sang in the winter wind and jeweled with leaves in the summer, making green rooms within themselves.

  "Oh," he murmured.

  "Yes, but you're not supposed to touch them when you're a grownup. Otherwise you summon the aborigines, and they come and moon-touch you, and you lose yourself." She had only seen one Castanya up close, the one who took Megan. He had been tall and pale, his skin a translucent gray-green, his features outlined in light, the silver shimmer of his robe dotted with the little lights of gembugs, his eyes leaf-green.

  "Huh," said Kit.

  "It's not just superstition. It really happens."

  "I know."

  She released his hand, batted it away from her. By the rules of psi etiquette, the loss of physical contact should keep him out of her mind unless she gave him a direct invitation back inside. Being psi-deaf, she wouldn't know one way or another about how well-behaved he was unless he slipped up, and he wouldn't. Not unless it was something she was blasting, like wanting to punch him in the stomach. He could pretend not to hear that, and she would know he had anyway. "So when you go on shore leave, stay away from the casta trees, okay?"

  "I don't think I can," he said. "Can you stay away from your family?"

  "What?" Did he mean the trees were his family, or was he really asking her about her family? She didn't want to see any of them. She remembered her last shore leave on her home planet. It was awful, though the details were muddy in her mind. Something about seeing her family — "How do you mean that?"

  "I mean, in all this stuff you were feeling, all mixed up with the trees, were a bunch of thoughts about how badly your family treats you when you go to see them. Can you stay away from them?"

  "I don't want to see them."

  "Yes, but — ” He held his hand out to her across the table. "There's something snarled up in your head."

  "Don't touch," she said, turning away from him. The planet was there, filling the whole wallscreen now. A weather pattern over the Sinhalie desert drew her attention. She remembered a school fieldtrip out there to look at some ruins. They had flittered over the forest to reach the desert; nobody ever walked through the forest, and no one had ever punched a road through; no one wanted to take chances with the Castanya, who had left the ruins of a complex civilization in the desert and moved to the forest, where no one even knew if they lived in buildings or just in the trees.

  Her class had stayed with the archaeology settlement near the ruins. She had gotten up at first light one morning and snuck off by herself, circling around the gridwork of the working dig and venturing into ruins yet unexplored. Above a dome that rose over one of the Castanya underground round-rooms, she saw something shimmer as the sun rose. She walked out on one of the dome's struts and into the twisting energy. It made the hair on her arms and neck rise up on end, and she tasted electricity and the strange choking bitterness that presaged tears. Ever after she had wondered if that one foolish moment had burnt out all her psi potential. Everybody else in her family had it in strong amounts.

  "We're both on first leave. Stay with me," Kit said.

  She glanced at him, annoyed. He had an intense relationship with the captain's second. He might know she sometimes thought about him and wished the impossible; he might know she sometimes thought of him and resented his easy power; he shouldn't tease her.

  "If you protect me from the trees, I'll protect you from your relatives," said Kit.

  "No, thanks," she said.

  He sighed, shrugged, and smiled, and later, when they were taking the shuttle down to the spaceport for first leave, he sat wit
h someone else.

  Her brother Ashlin was waiting for her outside of bodyscan. He had the same thick dark hair she had, the same blue eyes and broad face. The inside of his head was different though. He had passed his psi test without trouble. He smiled at her and held out a hand, and in that moment she knew something was wrong: this was how it had started, the trouble she had had on her last shore leave. A touch from a relative. She turned and looked at the door behind her, wishing for Kit, but he wasn't there, only Maggie, the security chief from the ship, who stood scanning the spaceport the way she did any new place, looking for potential danger. The door from bodyscan started to open, but by that time, Skye's brother had reached her and wrapped his hand around her wrist. She felt the compulsion she had been instructed to forget last time locking into her system. She followed her brother without struggling, except in her mind, where she cried, Kit! Help me! Help! She put as much force into it as she had into the punch in the stomach.

  "Now, now," said Ashlin. "Quiet. Don't think." The command crept into her; she settled down, walking with her brother, her thoughts going slurred and slow.

  Running footsteps echoed up the corridor behind them, and then Kit was there, beside her. "Skye?"

  She blinked and smiled at him.

  "Hello," said Ashlin. "You must be a shipmate of my sister's."

  "Yes," said Kit.

  Touch me, Skye thought, smiling stupidly up at Kit.

  "I'm her brother Ashlin. We're going home to see the family. We're always glad when Skye makes planetfall. She brings us the news from all over."

  "But Skye and I had a date. She was going to show me local flora. I'm a plant tech. I'm interested in all kinds of vegetation, and it's always a treat for me to have a native tell me about it."

  "That's funny. Skye sent me a message to meet her here as soon as she came downplanet."

  Kit smiled. He reached out, and Skye's hand met his. Then she felt something strange, like sparks traveling up her arm, starting with his touch, fizzing through her. She shook her head. The compulsion her brother had laid on her was burning up, releasing her. She jerked her arm out of his grasp, and crowded close to Kit, pulling his arm around her.

  "Hey," said Ashlin. He surged forward, reaching for Skye.

  "Don't touch me," she said.

  He grabbed her arm and pulled. Just then, Maggie strolled up. "Hello," she said, "what's going on here?"

  "This narf is my brother, and he's bothering me," Skye said.

  "Oh," said Maggie. She touched a pressure point near Ashlin's shoulder, and his arm went limp. His hand slid off Skye's arm. "Are you a native here, Skye?" Maggie asked, striding on, with Kit and Skye following her, leaving Ashlin lifting his own wrist, releasing it, watching his arm flop to his side.

  "I grew up here, but I consider myself a native of the ship now," said Skye.

  "I was just wondering if you knew a good pleasure house. I could use some relaxation."

  "Try Kumuda House, on the south spoke."

  "Is that a House of the Lotus? I was hoping for something a little rougher."

  Skye shook her head. She didn't know any other pleasure houses; at home, no one ever spoke of them. She had discovered that one when she and Megan went on a long exploratory foray, ducking out of school when the spring was too strong to ignore. They had packed provisions as if going on a scouting trip, then wandered into parts of the city they had never seen. When they went home later, Megan got away with it. Skye's mother scanned her and discovered her disobedience. It led to weeks of extra chores, and a routine scan every night, which Skye hated. But she couldn't even think about how much she hated it without getting a scolding from her mother.

  "Do you know their specialty?" Maggie asked.

  "They can anticipate your desires," said Skye.

  "Oh. That could work out okay. I'll see you in sixteen hours, kids." She waved and wandered out to the taxi stand.

  Skye looked up at Kit, who still had his arm around her shoulder. He raised an eyebrow, as if to ask what next. She glanced back down the corridor. Ashlin was coming, and he looked mad.

  "Let's get out of here," said Skye, and she and Kit ran after Maggie and jumped into one of the flittertaxis. Skye typed Hub Park on the keyboard and the cab lifted into the air and set off for the city center.

  "This place has the weirdest psychic climate I've ever run into," Kit said as Skye settled next to him on the seat.

  "What do you mean?"

  "It's like a mosaic of shields, with some spears poking out. Armed, dangerous. At least, that's the city. Something else is going on beyond the edge, out in the forest. Green thoughts like I never heard before. Is everybody on this planet psi?"

  "They try to be," she said. And then paralysis struck her tongue.

  "Oh," he said, as if that explained a lot.

  She lifted her hand, touched her mouth. She couldn't open her mouth. She stared at Kit.

  "What?"

  She shook her head, feeling the heat in her face that meant a blush or tears or both. She grabbed his hand, and thought, I can't speak.

  "Why not?" The cab was landing on the pad in Hub Park and demanding payment. Kit took a credit wand out of his breast pocket and put it in the slot. Its green went down a little; the cab opened the door to let them out. Skye got up and pulled Kit out after her.

  I don't know, she thought. Please help.

  He drew her over to a bench. They sat down facing each other, and he framed her face with his hands. "There's a snarl," he said. "I felt it before. This is part of it. May I look?"

  Yes.

  Expression left his face as he stared into her eyes. She felt the first soft touches inside her head, and jerked away, jumped to her feet, ran from him. All as automatic as solving an equation. By the time she slowed, she was halfway across the park, breathing hard. She staggered to a stop in the middle of a birch grove, clutching her stomach, a stitch throbbing in her side.

  After she had lain in the grass a little while, catching her breath, he appeared again, and dropped to his knees beside her.

  I hate you, she thought, launching it at him powered by acid.

  He looked resigned. "You hate something, anyway."

  She turned away from him and looked at the trees. They were all cultivars of Earth plants. Here in the Hub Park, no native vegetation was allowed; children played here, young people walked here in the evenings. Better not to chance attracting the attention of the Castanya, though no one had ever seen one of them this deep in the city. She closed her eyes, and felt tears cooling on her face. At last she turned back to him and held out a hand.

  When he took it, she thought, I'm sorry. I never thanked you for helping me, either. I'm sorry. Thanks.

  "I know what it's like to fight your upbringing," he said.

  You know from inside, or from snooping?

  He grinned. "From inside." Then he lost his smile. "I don't snoop," he said, "not unless I can't help it. Stuff at the spaceport, Skye. You grew up with everybody snooping you, and you couldn't fight back?"

  She pulled her hand away.

  "I can't help you unless you help me help you," said Kit.

  She wiped her eyes. She offered him her hand.

  "Okay," he said. "I'll talk you through it. Why can't you talk? It's because there are all these snarls in your head. Same reason you ran away from me. Somebody's laid all these demands across your thoughts. Something happens, and you switch into programmed behavior — somebody else's program, not yours. You said something — ” He bit his lower lip. "What was it? I asked you if everybody on the planet was psi, and you said they try to be."

  She fought him, trying to tug her hand free, but this time he didn't let go of her. He gripped her arm with both hands. "Okay, this is part of the program, understand? You tell anybody anything, you're supposed to shut down. So you can't talk anymore, and you're supposed to run away, too. Uh.…" He closed his eyes. She struggled with him, and learned that he was much stronger than she'd ever suspected. "Oka
y," he said, and she felt the sparks again, fizzing down her arm, spreading across her shoulders, down her chest, up her neck, into her head, down her torso and down her legs to the ends of her toes. For a moment she froze, all her muscles locked. Then they released.

  "Whoosh," she said. "Ouch! What happened?"

  He let go of her hand and sat back. Sweat shone on his forehead. "I can't explain it very well. I — combed out some of the snarls. How do you feel?"

  "Better."

  "Good. What aren't you supposed to tell me?"

  She stared up at the sky, remembering the cloud swirls she had seen from space. Here in Ticoria, the sky looked blue. "What do you know about Starsedge?"

  "It's a stopover on the skip route, out near the edge, handy to several of the wrinkles. Hub point. Good for supplies. Culture students come here. Self-sufficient, recent colony. What else is there to know?"

  "Ever since people settled here, their psi abilities have been growing. Every generation is born with better abilities, new ones. A couple of generations ago, the government decided to breed for psi. People like me, who don't have any, well, we're throwaways. Get kicked off planet. Mission encysted." She blinked. She hadn't remembered any of this, and now here it was, lying on the surface of her mind. "Go out and find other psis, and bring them home. That's what I'm supposed to do. Everywhere I go, I look around, and I never knew what I was looking for, until now. Kit. I was looking for you, I guess."

  "What are you supposed to do with me?"

  She sat up. She looked down the trail, and saw two of her uncles coming. Kit looked too, and then he was up on his feet, pulling her to hers, and they were running.

  It was no good, she thought. Every time you really wanted to hide, they always found you. Books had been written about psi etiquette. On Starsedge, everybody ignored the books; they had no manners. She glanced over her shoulder, and noticed that her uncles weren't even running. Why bother? They could muster all the psi power they needed to track her and Kit down. The whole city was a trap —

  " — If you think like you," Kit muttered. He pulled her into a maple thicket and dropped down. "What happens if you think like a tree? Maybe you turn invisible."